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Post by Moonlight on Mar 4, 2006 12:19:43 GMT -5
My sister is the most annoying person in the world. I really am tired of putting up with her. She's always whistling off tune for no reason, especially when it's really quiet, and I ask her to stop, and she says "It's not whistling, it's blowing," and goes straight back to it. Then just this morning she heard about a new book series based off one I'm reading. The book series it's based off of is really special to me b/c my gram started me on it, and I've been reading it for years. Now my sister wants this other series, and she KNOWS I want it too. So she goes to my mom and asks "Can I get this series?" and my mom says yes, even when she would've said no considering it's based off a special series to me and it's by the same author. I know that it's not a big deal, but now my sister will read it and tell me everything in it, even when I tell her to shut up. And she'll just rub it in my face. "I read this series before you  " She's just stubborn and selfish and wants to be better than me. I simply say things like "Whatever" and "go away" and she makes a big deal out of it. XP |
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Post by Teh Squishy on Mar 5, 2006 19:04:31 GMT -5
I just got this in an e-mail from father dearest today: "Hey (insert my name here), I just found this website: www.evergreeninternational.org/index.htmland would greatly appreciate it if you thoroughly looked through it and think about what you read." It's a mormon anti-gay site. And I quote: "Evergreen International is the most complete resource for Latter-day Saints who experience same-sex attraction. Evergreen is a nonprofit corporation that offers help to people who want to diminish their attractions and overcome homosexual behavior. Mission Statement Evergreen is founded on the belief that the atonement of Jesus Christ enables every soul the opportunity to turn away from all sins or conditions that obstruct their temporal and eternal happiness and potential. Evergreen attests that individuals can overcome homosexual behavior and can diminish same-sex attraction, and is committed to assisting individuals who wish to do so. Evergreen provides education, guidance, and support to those involved in the transition from homosexuality, and is available as a resource to family, friends, professional counselors, religious leaders, and all others involved in assisting individuals who desire to change. Evergreen sustains the doctrines and standards of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints without reservation or exception, but is not affiliated with the Church. Evergreen welcomes all people who wish to participate in the pursuit of these goals." I don't think I need to say why I'm a bit offended. Here's what I sent to my dad: "Dear Dad, I just found this website: www.pflag.org/and would greatly appreciate it if you thoroughly looked through it and think about what you read. SERIOUSLY." I got this response from dad: "Touche. The question is, (inster my name here), who are you going to believe-- people who love you and want you to be able to have the full blessings of Exaltation, or those who wish to deceive you through flattering words like flaxen cords that feel soft & comfortable at first, but ultimately choke you & drag you down to the point where escape is not impossible, but EXTREMELY difficult? Sorry to be so blunt, but IT IS THE TRUTH!!!!!!! I'm not sure how to be any more plain about this. I concede you may suffer from same-sex attraction. The fact of the matter is that this affliction is like any other trial that people are faced with in their time on Earth. A great example that is similar in nature is alcoholism. Some people are more prone to suffer from it than others (they may even have a genetic pre-disposition to it), but if one never takes the first drink, one will never become an alcoholic. IT IS ALWAYS A MATTER OF CHOICE!! Here's the bottom line- NO ONE on any of the pro-gay sites you've visited cares about you like Mom & I do. NOT A SINGLE ONE OF THEM TRULY HAS YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART!!!!!!!!! LOOK- I'm your father. I'm supposed to do some basic things for my children, such as teach you right from wrong, and protect you from danger. If I saw you standing on the edge of a precipice & it looked to me like you were about to fall, I would do everything in my power to rescue you! THAT IS HOW I SEE THE CURRENT SITUATION WITH YOU- you are right there on the edge, headed over. My biggest concern is can I get to you in time... Dad" My response was: "I know you love me, and have my best intentions in mind, dad. I love you right back. Don't ever think that I don't. Love, (insert my name here)" Seriously, I'm HURT. I am sick and tired of being told that I'm wrong, who I am is wrong, that I'm misguided and on the way to hell. The homophobia is so thick in my house that he doesn't even have the BALLS to tell this sort of thing to my face. I have no problem with a debate, dad, because I can hold my own. I CAN and WILL prove my point while being accepting of your POV, though I can't expect the same from you. What gets me is you can't say it. You are so delusional that you think not talking about it will make it go away. I came out to you and mom nearly a YEAR ago (a year ago this May) and it hasn't gone away, has it? No, it hasn't. I was hurt that you called it "that crap" instead of calling it as it was. It's not a cuss word dad!!! Say it with me....."LES-BI-AN". "HO-MO-SEX-U-AL". I am tired of this. So tired of knowing that they're so disappointed in me, when I haven't even done anything wrong. That's just it, though. I HAVEN"T DONE ANYTHING. So, can someone explain why I'm in trouble here?! He threatened to take away my computer once because I was on a pro-gay site. He couldnt' even TELL THAT TO MY FACE EITHER. He left it as a message on my "Scrolling Marquee" screen saver. Dad, I love you, but I have more balls than you'll ever have. Either accept me as I am, or I'll be forced to cut you from my life. |
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Post by sojuske on Mar 5, 2006 19:18:09 GMT -5
o.o *hugs Squish tightly*
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Post by Lauren on Mar 6, 2006 19:01:44 GMT -5
I know that it's not a big deal, but now my sister will read it and tell me everything in it, even when I tell her to shut up. And she'll just rub it in my face. "I read this series before you " I know how you feel. My sister is the same. Maybe we can send them away together and they'll reform each other. *hugs* OMG! I know! All the time, and she comes up with nasty things to say and then she is innocent and I get busted. o.o Wait, that won't make things better...*thinks* Ah well. It can only get better from there (we hope). Mission Statement Evergreen is founded on the belief that the atonement of Jesus Christ enables every soul the opportunity to turn away from all sins or conditions that obstruct their temporal and eternal happiness and potential. You're not bothered by being a lesbian because that's who you are. It's not "obstructing [your] temporal and eternal happiness," so point that out. See the bold/underlined part? Point that out. You don't see having "same-sex attraction" as boing a problem and don't feel the need to do anything about it, so tell him that the facility won't help because your happy about being the way you are. ALCOHOLISM IS NO WAY RELATED TO BEING HOMOSEXUALLY ORIENTED! *grumbling* They're offering support aren't they? That's more than he can say. Maybe he would be happier if you used cuss words instead. You should ask him. No, don't. That's what's it's coming down to, isn't it? Oh Squish...I feel so bad that you have to put up with this... *hugs* |
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Post by A Tear to Shed on Mar 14, 2006 15:27:07 GMT -5
Squish, I'm sorry. I know that sounds weak, and it doesn't come close to how I actually feel right now. Your rant made me cry. It's not that I've been in a similar situation or that somebody close to me has gone through it, but for some reason I've always felt a certain frustration/anger towards people that just can't accept the fact that homosexuality isn't someone's way of saying "HAH! I'm different and I'm gonna be stubborn and not let you change me!", but it's just a part of who they are.
I know it isn't really my place to rant here, because it's actually your sitch, Squishy. But I just want to let you know that I'm here for you and I'm behind you all the way. I hope that eventually your parents (or your dad, because I'm not sure if your mom is reacting in the same fashion) will be able to accept you for who you are and appreciate that you were able to come out to them. *major hug*
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Post by Moonlight on Mar 14, 2006 15:53:22 GMT -5
I really really REALLY dislike it when people make fun of me because I'm obsessed with something. So. What? I get obsessed easily, it's nothing to make fun of. I can't talk to anyone about my obsessions because they'll get annoyed with me.
For example, one of my friends gets really tired of me talking about CB and PotO. She stops me from talking about it by making a face and going "Not again..."
And I don't mind when she talks about Harry Potter. I don't make a face and go "Not again" to her!
It gets on my nerves... XP
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Post by Liz on Mar 14, 2006 16:08:30 GMT -5
In response to Squish's rant.....
I know you're hurting. I don't blame you. And I totally feel for you. I agree that they are wrong for trying to make you feel bad for being the way you are. And believe me, I'm a Catholic, and I don't think that people like you are evil and are going to Hell. I don't believe that at all. Neither would anyone else in my religion. We know you can't help the way you are. Now, I know your dad has good intentions, and I can tell he just wants you to be happier, and I really don't think there's any need for anger towards him. He really is just trying to help. I don't believe he thinks you're on the path to Hell. If anyone tells you that, they're wrong. Just....keep in mind your dad loves you, and the main goal of any church is to HELP, not to make you feel like scum. And anyone that does make you feel bad is wrong. I'll keep praying that things get better for you. *hugs*
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Post by Bonejangles rox on Mar 14, 2006 19:49:23 GMT -5
I really really REALLY dislike it when people make fun of me because I'm obsessed with something. So. What? I get obsessed easily, it's nothing to make fun of. I can't talk to anyone about my obsessions because they'll get annoyed with me. For example, one of my friends gets really tired of me talking about CB and PotO. She stops me from talking about it by making a face and going "Not again..." And I don't mind when she talks about Harry Potter. I don't make a face and go "Not again" to her! It gets on my nerves... XP
That wasn't why I posted this, though. I have to go through the same crap. Every time I wear my Bonejangles sweatshirt/hum Remains of the Day/draw Emily/say anything related to Corpse Bride, my friend goes, "Oh, my God, why do you like that movie so much? It looks so stupid!" Like she thinks I have to be like her. And keyword: LOOKS. She hasn't even seen it. She hates it when I obsess over stuff. It's not like we can help it, right? It's in our nature. And look on the bright side with your friend: she doesn't feel the need to insult everything you like.
After that post, which is loooooooong already, I have my own rant to yap about! Nothing really big like Squishy's (That so sucks, dudette. I can't even find words to tell you...), but still...
Anyway, a ton of crap just piled on itself at school. First, some idiot was shaking a can of soda in the class before lunch today and dropped it on the floor. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with that, even if it did splatter all over me. But when it gets all over the project I've been working hard on for TWO WEEKS, am almost finished with, and was planning on finishing tonight, that gets me pretty ticked off. So, now I have to restart that and do two other projects in LESS THAN A WEEK.
Second, I sit next to two people in my next class who think it's a bad thing to do your work and do well in school. They do everything they can to annoy and distract me, and since I take my grades seriously, I explode when they start to suffer. As if two of them weren't enough, the one that's even worse than the other sits next to me in the class after that so I have to put up with him twice in a row. Every time I scream at him to shut up, leave me alone, and let me work, he goes, "Geez, why are you so mean?!?" Is it mean to explode about the thing that annoys you most being repeated over and over again for the sole purpose of annoying you!?
That's the end of BJR's Pointless Ramblings for now. I'm sorry I'm so shallow. I'm really feeling bad now about posting something this stupid underneath something like Squishy's rant and not even being able to think of advice for her. AARGH! Okay, I'm cool. And I thought of something: We're all here for you, Squish. I know you've probably heard it six million times from everybody, but it's true. *hugs* |
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Post by sojuske on Apr 4, 2006 17:28:16 GMT -5
How could Nick get in? How come Nick got in and miranda and me not? How the hell does that work?
It's not fair, it's so not fair. I have the grades, the afterschool activities, I'm hundreds of times more qualified to get into berkeley than nick is. But noooo. I can't get in. I'm not good enough to get in. *sighs*
And then my mom, when she hears she's even more upset than I am. And that only makes me feel worse because, it's true. I'm a failure for not getting in.
How is it to explain? Ok, well, my entire life I've felt, not good enough oddly enough.
Everyone was always telling me, "you are so smart" "you are like the progidy of the family, O.R." "You will do well in Berkeley"
"You have to get into Berkeley" "It would be something for them to hear you get into Berkeley, I will feel blessed if you get into Berkeley"
"Of course you'll get into Berkeley, you are smart enough to get into Berkeley"
And this kid, who had worse grades than me, worse test scores, but is a little bit better writing gets into Berkeley and I don't.
My mom finds out and starts lecturing me on what I should have done. And it hurts. I'm just not good enough, not smart enough to get in. And that hurts, but it hurts even more that I know I -am- smart enough. But I'm not and it's confusing and it just makes me want to claw my arms and scream and bite and taste blood.
Instead I just dress in tank tops, and sing boingo and instead try to morph into someone else. (also caused me to wear eyeliner one day, cookies to those who get it)
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Post by sephy on Apr 5, 2006 15:42:07 GMT -5
..Argh I hate my Mother
"you know...you can tell me if you're a lesbian"
"Really it's ok if you're a lesbian, you're cousins a lesbian"
"I'm not homophobic, you can tell us if you're a lesbian"
"if you feel doubting about your sexuality, you can always talk to me"
"honestly I don't think there's anything wrong with being a lesbian, just tell me"
"..you don't have to hide it if you're attracted to girls you know"
all this because I don't like make-up and handbags...yes because having a dislike for dyed whale blubber, horribly powdery stuff and bags that you can never actually fit anything in automatically makes you a lesbian apparantly.
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Post by Teh Squishy on Apr 5, 2006 17:30:38 GMT -5
Urgh..... Why must mom do that? Because I read that book mentioned in THIS rant: community.livejournal.com/queer_rage/211962.htmlMother wanted to know how I liked it. Of course, I told her how much I HATED it. She asked why I hated it. SHE FRIGGIN' ASKED WHY. Um, ok, come ON mom!! Let's think REEEEAAAAAL HARD about why I hated it. Jeez louise. Anyway, I then told her that it really didn't apply to me because I'm actually a STRAIGHT male in a female's body, and so therefor not really gay. We spent a while talking (read: me trying to get her to understand the concept of tanssexualism), and she seemed to get it. She even asked what name I preferred. I thought I'd FINALLY gotten some respect from her. WRONG. The rest of the day, she TEASED me about it. She'd say stuff like, "Little missy-mister", and not call me by the name I had TOLD her I preferred. She made FUN of something that meant a lot to me. Do you have any friggin' idea how badly that stung? Today, she was back to calling me "babe", "honey", "sweetie", "she" and "her". Will I have to hold a gun to my parent's heads before I get any sort of respect?! Dad ignores it (btw, he was PLEASED AS PUNCH THAT I READ THAT BOOK *explodes*) and mom makes fun of it. I really really wanna shoot myself sometimes. It's better than hiding away and pretending to be something I'm not. It's come down to that, actually: I'd rather DIE than live a lie. |
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Post by Liz on Apr 5, 2006 17:35:43 GMT -5
Squish, don't you go killing yourself on us.
I'm really super sorry your parents have a hard time accepting you. Some people just don't get it. And it REALLY pisses me off to hear that your mom's teasing you.
Just PLEASE don't kill yourself. I'm praying for your happiness always. *hugs*
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Post by Moonlight on Apr 5, 2006 17:37:25 GMT -5
I'm sorry, Squishy. About everything. Ya know you've got friends here.  don't kill yourself! XP Please. |
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Post by Teh Squishy on Apr 5, 2006 17:39:22 GMT -5
Aww guys, I won't. I'd never ever kill myself, I'm way too chicken. That, and it's a really really stupid cop-out that proves how stupid you are.
I'm just getting really sick of this. You all are far more accepting than my parents.
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Post by Emily on Apr 5, 2006 17:50:12 GMT -5
What a bunch of f*cking retards. I hate people who think they can "change" you with their religious bullsh*t.
I'm Catholic - I belong to a Catholic organization on campus, but believe you me if someone who was a transgender, transexual, bi, gay, lesbian or what have you wanted to join - we would gladly accept them. We don't try to "change" people. And it's because of those stupid religious groups that us normal Christians get dumped into the psycho pile along with these lunatics.
I'm sorry that your home life is hell, Squishy, and believe me, if I lived anywheres near to you I would be there to defend you against your dumbass parents.
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(made by insaneboingo) (weaselwoman13 @lj for ava)
don't kill yourself! XP Please.
