Another fic!

[Bonejangles rox]

Updates, updates: I've finally gotten started on handwriting chapter 3 instead of brainstorming 8 (I've got 8 chapters on my basement computer, but this one, the only one with Internet, doesn't read floppy disks, so I have to handwrite all my chapters, rewrite them onto Word, and copy-paste them on here. Pain in the neck, huh?)! Should be up sometime next week at the latest.

[Norrington's Phantomess]

Hurry!!!!!!!!!

[Lauren]

Ooh! I can't wait! I've been reading this, and I could swear I wrote a comment...Guess I just spaced. Sorry.

[Bonejangles rox]

It's okay! And... tada!
Chapter 3: “Life” In the Land of the Dead
Bonejangles’s eyes snapped open after lying in darkness for what seemed like weeks. Judging by how long it took for news to travel, it probably had been weeks. [b](In my fics, people don’t come to the Land of the Dead until after they’re buried. So, if it took people a long time to realize he was dead, it would take them a long time to bury him, and so it would take him a long time to get there. Make sense? Good!) [/b][/color] He appeared to be in a dark, dingy pub lying on what seemed to be a coffin. [b](You know that coffin-piano thing he lays on during the line “When she opened her eyes, she was dead as dust…?” Yeah. That thing.) [/b][/color] He heaved his body to a siting position to get a better look at his surroundings. A crowd of people was watching, among them the Bone Boys, all holding frothy mugs of beer and looking relieved that he had come to. Wait— had he come to? Upon closer inspection, the crowd was made up entirely of corpses and skeletons, some the sufferers of deaths more gruesome than Bonejangles even wanted to think about. (Cases in point— the guy with the cannonball hole straight through him, the guy cut in half, General Bonesapart, and Paul the Head Waiter)

“Ah, at last, you are awake!” A man pushed his way through the crowd and placed his severed head onto the bar, where it skittered around supported by a team of roaches. “I am Paul, ze Head Waiter here at ze Ball and Socket.” Paul’s body pushed a mug of beer towards Bonejangles.

“Um—BJ?” One of the Bone Boys stepped forward, a bit worried about how Bonejangles would take the news of his death. (Which one did you guys decide was the shy one, 1 or 3?)[/b] “I don’t know how to break it to ya, but—“

“What, I’m dead?” Bonejangles finished for him with a rasping laugh. “I kinda figured that out on my own, thanks.”

“It doesn’t bother you?” said the corpse of a plump chef in a voice that sounded a bit masculine considering the chef was a woman. Moreover, a woman who seemed to be eyeing Bonejangles suggestively. “Even a little?”

“Nah,” Bonejangles answered, taking an unnecessarily large gulp of beer. “It happens to everyone, I ain’t gonna fight it. Y’know, I was actually lookin’ forward to it at the very end.” One or two of the Bone Boys nodded their agreement, having died in the same agonizing way.

“That’s good,’ said the woman, sidling up next to Bonejangles. “In that case, my name’s Plum. Miss Plum.” She winked, earning a withering glare from a man who Bonejangles could have sworn was her husband.

“Come on, Plum, do you do that to every new arrival?” said an even shorter, fatter army general who had been impaled on a sword. (It’s Bonesapart… didn’t find a chance to get his name in there)[/color]

“Only the hot ones,” Miss Plum chuckled. “Rawr…” Bonejangles laughed. He could definitely get used to this place.

And so he did. He and his Bone Boys became permanent fixtures at the Ball and Socket, playing every night and most of the day. The entire Underworld knew them, and it could even have been said that Bonejangles liked being dead better than his life.

Except for one thing—Anna. She may have been a dirty, rotten, scheming, conniving, no-good little wench, but Bonejangles had loved her as he had never loved any woman. Even though he never wanted to speak to her again, somehow, his not-beating heart ached for her.

Would she even recognize me now? Bonejangles wondered as he sat reclined on a slow night at the Ball and Socket. He definitely looked much different now than he had before he died. His skin had entirely rotted away, leaving him a skeleton with eyes (He loses one later, don’t worry, I remembered), a broken leg (souvenir of the crash, and a bowler hat. Yes, even now, years after his death, he never removed that beloved hat. There was a good reason behind this, especially now. It was his last reminder of Anna, the woman who had given it to him so long ago.

“Let it go,” said an irritable voice inside his head. His eye popped out and Bonejangles caught it in one skeletal hand just in time. The eye that was left in his head turned to face the green maggot now sticking his head out the empty socket. Bonejangles had forgotten that the maggot could hear his thoughts. “You may have forgotten this, but she left you for him.”

“Stay out of this, maggot,” Bonejangles snapped, sending the worm flying backwards into his skull as he shoved his eye back in. “You know nothin’ about how I felt for her.”

“Suit yourself,” the maggot said. Bonejangles tried to sink back into his daydream of Anna, but it wasn’t working. The stupid maggot had ruined the moment.

Not that he could have focused with the alarm bell and flood of corpses entering the pub shouting, “New arrival!”

I think there’s some guy with a head who carries Paul around (or just the roaches), I just like the idea of it being his own body. More importantly, there’s a lovely cliffhanger to hold you till I finish the next chapter! MWAHAHAHA!!!! *cough cough cough* I’ll try and hurry it up.[ I already have it handwritten, so it won't be as long, and I'm REALLY sorry this took so long. I don't know what came over me./b]

[Norrington's Phantomess]

Oh please hurry Up!!!!!!!!!!

[Bonejangles rox]

Working on it... I can't get onto Word to type it until the weekend. Luckily my parents are going out Saturday night so that's when Chapter Four will be up. I PROMISE. ANd if I break that promise may I die an even slower, more painful death than I put poor BJ through in my fic. I can't leave you guys with a cliffhanger for very long, now, can I?

[Moonlight]

This IS really good. Keep it up! ;D

[Bonejangles rox]

Thanks, Jem! And I will now relieve you of the agonizing cliffy!

Chapter 4: New Arrival

Bonejangles ran over closer to the coffin where all the corpses were gathered as they always were during the new arrival party. The Bone Boys weren’t playing as they usually did, and everything was “dead” silent. He mimed playing his sax (He plays sax now. Because I said so.) and made a gesture that clearly said, “Why aren’t you playing?!?” One of them nodded over to the coffin.

A beautiful young bride sat on the coffin, blood from a bullet hole in the side of her face streaming down her front. She was hunched over in hysterical tears. Bonejangles understood instantly why the usual celebration wasn’t taking place; she really didn’t seem in the mood to celebrate her death. In fact, miserable would have been an understatement.

“What happened to her?” Bonejangles whispered to Miss Plum, who was standing nearby.

“We can’t get her to talk,” Miss Plum replied, “but we’re pretty sure she was murdered on her wedding day.” Bonejangles nodded, but couldn’t help thinking, I could have figured that out on my own. “Come along, dearie,” said Miss Plum, taking the bride gently by the arm.

“Where are you taking me?” the bride asked, her voice a squeak of terror with a hint of a British accent.

“It’s okay,” Bonejangles said softly, catching on to Miss Plum’s plan. “Well, maybe okay ain’t the right word, but we ain’t gonna hurt ya. We’re just takin’ ya outta here so you can be alone for a little while. Calm ya down a little bit. Can’t spend your whole afterlife miserable.” Miss Plum nodded in his direction, a trace of a smile on her face.

The bride suddenly collapsed onto a coffin in an alley just outside the pub, face buried in her hands, positively howling in anguish. “Well, I guess that’s as good a place as any…” Miss Plum trailed off. “Come on, Bonejangles.” Bonejangles cast a last look at the miserable bride before allowing himself to be led back into the puib by the kindly chef, then into the back room.

“Poor dear,” Miss Plum said sadly, peering out the grimy window where they could just see the shaking while lump that was the bride crying her eyes out. Possibly literally.

“Yeah,” Bonejangles replied. “Who would do somethin’ like that to a sweet gal like her?”

“I don’t know,” Miss Plum whispered, sounding close to tears herself. “There are some twisted people in the Land of the Living.’
***
The next morning (or somewhere around there), Miss Plum came into the Ball and Socket, just the person Bonejangles wanted to see. “How is she?” he asked anxiously. Somehow, even though he had only heard her say five words and cry, he really felt for the young girl murdered just before her wedding. She seemed so helpless, so alone, so heartbroken. And Bonejangles was willing to do whatever it took to help her.

“She’s talking now, that’s a good sign,” said Miss Plum happily.

“What did she say?”

“Her name’s Emily, and we were right, she was murdered on her wedding day—by her groom.”

Bonejangles gasped. “What kind of man would do somethin’ like that to a doll like her?” he spat.

“Apparently him. This Barkis Bittern,” Miss Plum answered bitterly. “He tricked her into falling in love with him and then—“

“Killed her,” Bonejangles finished, enraged.

“Poor thing,” Miss Plum said, looking out the window again. Bonejangles looked, too, and saw Emily petting a skeletal dog who had found her in the alley (It’s Scraps!) “She doesn’t deserve to die like that.”

“None of us do,” said Bonejangles quietly. “It happens to everybody, but none of us deserve it. I didn’t deserved that carriage accident. You didn’t deserve that kitchen fire. But here we are.”

You thought the new arrival was Anna, didn’t you? Nope! Emily! The point I was trying to get across through BJ was something like, “We all end up the remains of the day!” Warning: this is where this fic starts to turn BJ/E.

[Norrington's Phantomess]

Oh my God! That was so good! write more please!

[sojuske]

Agreed. Please post more.

[Bonejangles rox]

Ooh! People are still reading it!!! Yay! I stopped posting for a while because no one was reading it! Now that I know I've got you guys, I'll get my lazy butt going. Oh, and BTW: THANK YOU!!!

[Bonejangles rox]

Chapter 5: A Tragic Tale
I despise double posting… but I’ll do it to finally get a chapter up for my readers who I just found out do exist! You guys rock.

Bonejangles left the pub for the alley behind it so he could talk to Emily himself. “Hey.” The bride visibly jumped and dropped her bouquet, which she had been picking flowers out of. “Sorry—did I scare ya?”

“A little,” Emily admitted (She was startled by his sudden appearance in the alley. She’s not afraid of him). But she made room on the coffin for Bonejangles to sit down, which he did.

“What was your name, darlin’? Emily?”

“Yes.”

“I know you weren’t exactly thrilled to find out you were dead,” Bonejangles began. “And—“ The maggot knocked out his eye again. This time, Bonejangles failed to catch it before it rolled away into the street. (See? I told you he would lose his eye!) “What do you want?!?”

“Not exactly thrilled?” The maggot sneered. “Understatement of the century!”

“I think I’ve just about had it with you,” Bonejangles said, plucking the maggot out of his now-empty eye socket and throwing him on the ground. Emily only barely stifled a giggle. “Anyway, where was I? I just thought ya might… y’know, want someone to talk to about… what happened.” Well, that could have gone about a hundred times better, Bonejangles reprimanded himself.

“Miss Plum already came for that same reason,” Emily said softly, “but I guess it couldn’t hurt… to tell it again.” Bonejangles listened closely as the Corpse Bride began her story.

“I was out shopping for my mother when I accidentally ran into him. Literally.” Bonejangles allowed himself the smallest of chuckles, and even Emily smiled a bit. “It was love at first sight— or so I thought. We told my parents we wanted to marry, but my father said no. Something about, ‘he doesn’t have enough money to support you,’ or something. (I could so see her saying that in her Little Miss Living voice) It never occurred to me that that probably wasn’t the only reason.”

“Your daddy said you couldn’t marry him, but you did anyway?”

“Yes,” Emily sniffed, tears welling up in her eyes again. “We made off to elope in the forest where no one would find us. I stole some of my family’s gold and jewels and my mother’s wedding dress.” She motioned to the dirty bloodstained gown she wore. “I should have been suspicious when he arranged the wedding next to a graveyard, but I wasn’t. I was too lovesick for my own good.” She slumped forward, her elbow on her knee and her head in her hand.

“You couldn’t have known, baby doll,” Bonejangles said softly, reaching to stroke her hair but thinking better of it. He hardly knew her, after all.

Emily sighed, but continued. “He was saying his vows, and there was something different about him, but I didn’t realize it until he went to ‘kiss the bride.’ He held me next to him, but instead of kissing me, he pointed a pistol at my cheek and—and—“ She broke down, her whole body wracked with sobs.

“He shot you.” Bonejangles struggled to remain calm for Emily’s sake.

“Yes,” Emily whispered, drying her eyes on her veil.

“Y’know,” Bonejangles said, keeping his fury at the monster who murdered this beautiful girl bottled up still, “Miss Plum and I were talkin’ the other night. The night you came to us.” Emily sniffed, and Bonejangles involuntarily put an arm around her shoulders. To his relief, she did nothing about it, even seemed grateful. “We were sayin’ how we’d do just about anythin’ to help ya, doll. Just say the word and the whole Underworld’s behind ya.”

Emily giggled. “Thanks.”

A slow but sure beginning to the BJ/E-ness! And it only gets worse from here. Unfortunately for Bonejangles, next chapter is Remains of the Day, which means Emily’s married to Victor. BJ/E + V/E= not good for BJ.

On a mostly unrelated note, I have a title for this fic at last! It is now entitled Can a Heart Still Break Once it's Rotted Away? I'm pretty happy with it. It's better than what I had before: nothing!

[sojuske]

She got shot. Aww. poor Emily...
Makes me hate Barkis more.

[Bonejangles rox]

Keyword more. Lol. It's not possible to like Barkis.

Muchos gracias for reading!

[Bonejangles rox]

I'M DOUBLE POSTING AGAIN!!! CRAP!!!

Anyway, could it be true? My computer decided to read a disk? More importantly, I'm posting two chapters in two days? Believe it! Remains of the Day time, you guys! Prepare to dance!

Chapter Six: Remains of the DayEmily, it turned out, found peace in trying obsessively to find her true love and make up for Barkis. Bonejangles and the others in the Land of the Dead kept their promise by doing whatever they could to help, but since Emily seemed to be the only one who really knew what she was looking for, they couldn’t do much. That is, they couldn’t do much until one fateful night a few years later…

“Hey, Miss P,” Bonejangles said, closing the door to the Ball and Socket after a long search of almost the whole town.

“Hi, Bonejangles,” she said, not looking up from the glass she was polishing. “Have you seen Emily?”

“I was just gonna ask you the same thing,” he admitted. “I haven’t seen her in hours, have you?”

“No, but I wouldn’t worry,” Miss Plum advised him. “She’s probably just out looking for her true love. Again.”

“Yeah…” Bonejangles said halfheartedly. He didn’t know why, but every time he and Emily were near each other, and even more when they were talking, he would feel the sensation of his heart beating, which was strange because his heart had completely rotted away years ago. The already shy girl seemed to become even shyer in Bonejangles’s presence, too. It couldn’t be… could it? Somehow, Bonejangles hoped he was—

His musings were interrupted by the alarm bells that signaled a new arrival. Corpses flooded into the pub again, but the one that stood out the most was Emily, glowing with joy, cradling an unconscious young man in her arms. Bonejangles jaw dropped, literally, to the floor when he saw the young man’s chest moving up and down as if he was breathing. “Emily,” he said once his jaw was reattached to his skull, “he’s not dead, is he?”

“Well… no,” she admitted. “But look!” She flexed her skeletal ring finger, showing off a shining golden ring to the whole pub. “He said he vows so beautifully, and imagine how happy I was when I found that the girl he was marrying was me!” Her face fell a little as she said the next part: “Of course, he didn’t look too thrilled to see me when I came up so he could kiss the bride. He was running for his… well, his life, poor thing. He was terrified.”

Bonejangles laughed, but couldn’t help feeling a stab of resentment towards the living young man who had married Emily. While she was being congratulated by everyone else in the Ball and Socket, he stole away to a dark corner of the pub and pushed his bowler hat over his eye. He and Emily were made for each other, he could feel it. So why couldn’t he tell her, and why couldn’t she see it for herself? Another part of him told him that he had promised her to help her find her true love, and now that she had found him (or so she thought, the first part of him said), he was determined to help their relationship work as well as it possibly could.

By the sound of it, the young man was awake now, and scared out of his wits. “Who are you?” He asked, trying to sound brave, but his voice more of a squeak of terror. This made Bonejangles sure that this whole thing was a grave misunderstanding. (*snicker* Sorry, couldn’t help it)

“That’s kind of a long story,” said Emily, trying her best to sidestep the question and not have to tell the heartbreaking story of her murder.

Bonejangles knew how Emily hated to tell how she died, so he felt it was time to step in and help her out by way of a little song he had written on the subject. “What a story it is,” he said, just loudly enough that all heads (and skulls) snapped in his direction. “A tragic tale of romance, passion… and murder most foul.” All the corpses broke into grins; this song was an absolute favorite among everyone in the Land of the Dead. “Hit it, boys.”

The Bone Boys didn’t need telling twice, they immediately started playing the introduction on their “xylophone,” and Bonejangles sang Emily’s whole story out for the young man, with some help from the rest of the pub. It didn’t seem to help the boy understand his new bride any more than it did, but it did terrify him even more than he was already. Bonejangles found a somewhat guilty pleasure in adding to the breather’s fright by having him and the Boys dance with him around the pub. By the time the song had ended, Bonejangles noted with grim satisfaction that the boy had left the pub, probably having run off in sheer panic. Or so he thought, until he noticed that Emily was gone, too.

First Anna, now Emily. Will our poor (sexy) skeleton ever get a break? Of course he will! I’m not that heartless… or am I? MWAHAHAHA!!! And I wrote this before the movie was on DVD, so, yeah, I got a couple facts wrong. As you guys probably figured by knowing me, I don’t care, don’t mention how I butchered the action of the song. I'm very very happy with myself right now.